Monday, July 12, 2010

Tired and Weary!

Oh, the strength it takes to keep going when everything seems to be falling apart. I've been thru many crisis in my life and each time I get thru one, I think that it will never be that bad again. Why does it seem to be so bad every time? Just venting, I guess. I know one thing, that without the support of a loving God, I don't think I would make it. My relationship with Jesus is all that I have that I can truly count on. My wife and others are there for me now, but they may be gone in the future. I know Jesus will always be there.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Hurry Up and Wait!

I am bidding a WWTP (WasteWater Treatment Plant) in northwest AR that is a fairly large project. The published estimate is somewhere around 30 million. It take a lot of time and effort to put a bid of this size together.

After projects are released for bid, the project can be modified by the engineer through addendum's that he may or may not issue before bid time.

This particular job was to bid on Oct 2nd at 2pm. A few days before the bid date, we received an addendum that pushed the bid date back to Oct 16th, two weeks later. This was somewhat of a relief but not really in that even though you may feel like your not quite ready, you've got the train running full speed ahead and its tough to stop a train.

We shut things down on this job to work on others jobs and then started things back up a week or so later.

Again just a few days before the bid on the 16th we received an addendum that pushed the bid date back a month to Nov 13th. Once again we stopped the train to focus on other projects and work that needed to be done. around the first of November we started back up on the project and started calling everyone of the subs and suppliers again to get new numbers from them.

You guessed it. A few days before the Nov bid date, the project was postponed again for about 30 days. The new bid date was set for Dec 10th.
So at the beginning of this week we started gearing back up for the bid on Dec 10th. The train is running at a pretty good clip and then - screeeeeeeeeech. Hit the brakes!!!! The project has been delayed again until an undetermined date sometime after the first of the year.

This train is taking a lot of abuse. I'm wondering if we need to stop it again if it won't just crash!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

4th & long on your own 20 yard line

Sometimes things happen in life that make you just want to quit and sit down for a while. Take a time-out and try to re-group or re-prioritize. When your opponent deals you a heavy blow and your head is spinning, you are likely to keep making mistakes that allow the momentum of the game to stay with your opponent.

I've been delt a heavy blow and I needed some time. A month ago today, my mother was taken from our family in an automobile accident. It was sudden and very unexpected. I don't know what to say other than that I will miss her greatly.

I really haven't had the opportunity to take a time-out. I need one. Maybe over the holidays, I will be able to work thru some of the pain and emotions that I feel.

I'm always so busy. There is always something else that needs to be done.


Friday, October 3, 2008


My wife called me today and told me that she had purchased plane tickets for Michael to come home on Thanksgiving and to fly to Chicago for Christmas. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I really miss my son. I look forward with great anticipation to seeing the not so little guy again.

We are studying "Wild At Heart" by John Eldridge on Wednesday Nights. Last week we talked about the "wound" we received from our fathers. A harsh word at a vulnerable time. A lost temper. A time when you expected a "good job" or an "I love you" that never came.

And then I thought of how I have wounded my own children in the same way. Especially Michael. Once the words are said, they cannot be taken back. Once the temper is lost, we can't rewind and do things differently.

I pray that Michael will forgive me for the mistakes I have made as a father and that our heavenly father will repair and heal those wounds that I have caused.

God, don't let my imperfections stand in the way of Michael becoming the man of God you want him to be!

Friday, September 19, 2008


I'm concerned about Michael. I think he is at a crossroads now. The way he responds to his present situation will, I believe, determine the path his life will take. Pray that God will show him His direction and that Michael will be willing to follow that direction. I appreciate all who are praying for him. Thank You!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Old Friend

I thought about an old friend last night. Just kind of hit me out of the blue. I was wondering where he was at and what he is up to. I know he has a family with a lovely wife but I couldn't remember the names of his kids, or how many he has. I wonder if he has caught up with me and maybe passed me in that department.

He was what I would call my best friend in the world growing up in Paola, KS. He came out to our farm a lot and we built forts and played in the barn and stuff. I remember that he dared me to do a lot of things and I always seemed to be willing to do the stupidest, craziest things. I remember playing a lot of whiffle ball in his back yard or the back yard of the neighbors that lived close.

I took voice and piano lessons from his mom after school for several years. I wish I would have continued with those but I talked my mom into letting me quit. We were in a few school groups together and we traveled in the Lions Band for three summers. He used to be a pretty good on his alto sax. I think he used to have a Mark IV. I really can't remember.

We grew up and got married. He was the best man at my wedding almost 25 years ago. I named my first born son after him. I wonder if he really knows that? And then we just got busy with life and really never kept in touch. I've seen him a few times over the years, but not really very often. It's been a lot of years since I have seen or even talked to him. I usually think of him on his birthday the last part of January. He's just a few months older than I am.

I know that he became a Pastor in the church denomination that we both grew up in. He married a girl he met in college and I married my high school sweetheart. I remember wondering if he would ever get out of college. His mom told me that he went to Florida for awhile and then moved back to Missouri to take a church of his own.

Our mothers used to be close friends when they were younger and I heard from my mom that his dad was not doing so well the last few years. I remember that his dad was the one who taught me how to keep a steady tempo through a song.

So I'm wondering if God has placed him on my heart for some personal need that he may have or if I'm just remembering?

Friday, August 29, 2008

Time to vote again!

Who is the badest girl in the bible? Tell me why you voted for "that" girl!